10 Surprising Questions Every Couple Should Ask Before Getting Engaged (Most People Miss #7!)
Unlock the Secrets to a Lasting Marriage by Asking the Right Questions—Before You Say ‘Yes’!
When love is new, it’s easy to assume that everything will work out. But the truth is, the couples who thrive are those who dare to ask the hard questions before they say ‘yes.’ Did you know that couples who engage in deep, honest conversations before engagement are significantly less likely to divorce? The key isn’t just chemistry—it’s compatibility, self-awareness, and the courage to talk about what really matters.
Why Questions Matter More Than Romance
Most people think love will conquer all. But research from leading premarital counseling resources shows that asking the right questions before engagement is one of the most loving things you can do. It’s not about testing your partner—it’s about building a foundation of trust, honesty, and shared vision. Surprises in marriage are rarely the good kind when it comes to values, habits, or dreams.
The 10 Questions You Need to Ask
- How Do You Handle Money? Money isn’t just about numbers—it’s about values, security, and dreams. Discuss your spending habits, debts, savings goals, and what money means to each of you. Example image:
- What Role Does Faith or Spirituality Play in Your Life? Whether you share a faith or not, understanding your spiritual backgrounds and expectations for the future is crucial. Example image:
- How Did Your Family Handle Conflict? Our family patterns shape us more than we realize. Explore how your parents argued, forgave, or avoided issues—and how that impacts you.
- What Are Your Non-Negotiables? Everyone has values or dreams they can’t compromise on. Be honest about yours, from career ambitions to family traditions.
- How Do You Express Love and Apology? Do you need words, actions, or time together? What does forgiveness look like for you?
- What Are Your Hopes for Children? Even if you’re unsure, talk about parenting styles, discipline, and what a family means to you.
- How Do You Handle Boredom or Disappointment? Life isn’t always exciting. How do you cope when things get tough or dull?
- What Are Your Biggest Fears About Marriage? Vulnerability now prevents heartbreak later.
- How Do You Like to Spend Free Time? Daily routines matter. Are your lifestyles compatible?
- What Would Make You Walk Away? Understanding boundaries and deal-breakers is vital for trust.
Stories from Real Couples
One couple, after years of marriage, realized they never discussed how to handle money. The result? Arguments and resentment. Another ignored a partner’s quick temper, hoping it would improve. It didn’t. The couples who thrive are those who ask, listen, and grow—together.
How to Start the Conversation
Don’t wait for problems to arise. Set aside time, create a safe space, and approach these questions with curiosity and kindness. If you get stuck, consider premarital counseling or use resources from experts like John Gottman or H. Norman Wright for guided conversations. Example image:
The Bottom Line
Marriage is a lifelong adventure, and every question you ask now is a step toward a stronger, wiser, more loving partnership. Your future deserves nothing less.
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