Are You Normal? Why Most Women Worry About Their Sex Drive (And Shouldn’t)

Do you ever wonder if your sex drive is too low, too high, or just plain wrong? You’re not alone. In fact, research shows that 43% of women report some form of sexual concern during their lives. Yet, most of these women believe they are the only ones struggling.



The truth, as revealed by Dr. Emily Nagoski in 'Come As You Are,' is that there is no single standard of 'normal' when it comes to female desire. What matters most is not how much or how little desire you have, but how you feel about it. Some women are distressed by changes in libido, while others are not. This distress is often fueled by cultural myths—like the idea that desire should always be spontaneous, or that a loving relationship guarantees constant passion.

Nagoski’s book gently dismantles these myths, showing that sexual desire is responsive, context-dependent, and deeply personal. Stress, mood, relationship dynamics, and even the stories we tell ourselves all play a role. The book’s message is clear: you are not broken, and your experiences are more common than you think.



Practical advice includes talking openly with partners, practicing self-compassion, and seeking support when needed. The more we share our stories, the more we realize that 'normal' is a wide, beautiful spectrum.

If you’ve ever felt alone in your struggles with desire, this blog (and Nagoski’s book) will help you see that you are in good company—and that your sexuality is worthy of celebration, just as it is. 1 2 4