The Secret Ingredient Missing from Most Careers (And How to Find It)

Why Your Next Big Break Will Come from Someone You Barely Know

Ask anyone how they landed their last job, and you’ll likely hear a story about a friend of a friend, a chance meeting, or a long-lost acquaintance who reached out at just the right time. In Do Over, Jon Acuff makes a compelling case that relationships—not just skills or experience—are the true engines of career growth. But here’s the twist: it’s often the casual connections, those you see only occasionally, that make the biggest difference.

Acuff introduces the concept of mapping your network with note cards—a surprisingly effective way to visualize your connections and uncover hidden advocates. As you write down names, you’ll realize your network is bigger and more diverse than you thought. Weak ties—those people you don’t know well—are often the 'boomerangs' that return with job leads, recommendations, or introductions when you least expect it.

But relationships aren’t all sunshine. The workplace is filled with 'lobsters'—negative people who pull you back with gossip, criticism, or doubt. Acuff’s advice is simple but powerful: give foes distance, nurture friends, and give advocates access to your real goals and struggles. Advocates can only help if they know what you need.

Building a strong network isn’t just about collecting business cards. It’s about being a 'first responder'—someone who replies promptly, offers help, and shows reliability. These small acts of generosity turn casual acquaintances into strong allies.

Acuff’s stories are filled with moments where a single connection changed everything. A woman laid off from her job found a new opportunity through a neighbor she barely knew. A man stuck in a rut was introduced to his dream employer by a former colleague he hadn’t spoken to in years. The lesson? Your next big break is probably closer than you think—if you’re willing to reach out, nurture your network, and say yes to new connections.

In a world obsessed with skills and experience, don’t overlook the secret ingredient: relationships. Start mapping your network today, become a first responder, and throw as many boomerangs as possible. Your future self will thank you.

Sources: Blinkist, SoBrief, NewBookRecommendation 1 2 3