The Secret Psychology Behind Why We Fall for the Wrong People (And What to Do About It)

It’s a question as old as romance itself: Why do we keep falling for the wrong people? According to Dr. Seth Meyers, the answer lies in the hidden drivers of our hearts—fear, denial, impulsivity, and distorted beliefs. These forces are often rooted in childhood, shaping our expectations and choices long before we swipe right or say ‘I do.’

Fear is often the strongest driver—fear of intimacy, of being seen, even of happiness itself. Denial protects us from pain, keeping us blind to red flags. Impulsivity pushes us into relationships before we’re ready, while distorted beliefs (like ‘I’m not worthy of love’) sabotage our happiness from within.

Awareness is the first step. Dr. Meyers recommends journaling about your relationship history, identifying recurring themes, and challenging negative beliefs. Therapy, support groups, and honest conversations with friends can also help. Remember, you’re not doomed to repeat your past. With courage and curiosity, you can rewrite your story—and finally attract the love you deserve.

Ready to break the cycle? Start by understanding the psychology behind your choices—then take small, brave steps toward a healthier, happier love life.