Why Great Managers Break the Golden Rule (And Why That’s a Good Thing)

The Golden Rule—treat others as you want to be treated—has guided human interaction for millennia. Yet, in the realm of management, this rule can become a constraint rather than a guide. Great managers break the Golden Rule by treating employees as they want to be treated, not as the manager wants to be treated.

Why? Because people are wired differently. Talents form the mental filters through which individuals perceive the world and respond to challenges. These talents are stable and enduring, shaped by early life and neuroscience.

Imagine a manager who is naturally assertive and direct trying to motivate a team member who is sensitive and reflective. Applying the Golden Rule literally might lead the manager to be more assertive, which could backfire. Instead, recognizing the employee’s talents means adapting communication to be more supportive and patient.

Scientific studies of astronauts, executives, and everyday workers reveal that success depends on aligning management style with individual wiring. Managers who individualize their approach create environments where employees feel understood and valued, boosting engagement and performance.

This approach requires deep listening, observation, and humility. It challenges managers to move beyond their own preferences and assumptions, embracing the rich diversity of human nature.

Practically, this means using tools and conversations to identify talents, adjusting feedback and motivation strategies, and creating flexible work conditions that respect different needs.

By breaking the Golden Rule, managers foster trust and authenticity, creating stronger, happier teams. This mindset shift is essential for anyone seeking to lead with empathy and effectiveness in today’s complex workplaces.

In the next blog, we will explore the four core activities that define the catalyst role of great managers, turning insight into action.