How to Take Control of Your Life Story—Even When You Feel Stuck

Have you ever felt like life is just happening to you? Like you’re sitting in the passenger seat while someone—or something—else drives? If so, you’re not alone. But Donald Miller’s 'Hero on a Mission' reveals that you have more power than you think. The secret? Agency. Agency is the ability to make choices that influence your life’s direction. It’s about picking up the pen and writing your own story, even when the plot seems out of your hands.

Research shows that people with an internal locus of control—those who believe they can shape their destiny—are happier, more successful, and more resilient. But what if you weren’t born with this mindset? Good news: agency can be learned and strengthened. Start by noticing the language you use. Are you blaming others, or are you asking, 'What can I do next?' This simple shift turns obstacles into opportunities for action.

Real-life stories abound of individuals who faced immense adversity but chose to act anyway. From starting a new career after a layoff to rebuilding after loss, these heroes didn’t wait for rescue—they became their own rescuers. Miller’s advice is clear: victimhood is a temporary state, not a life sentence. The journey begins with one small step—showing up, trying again, or reaching out for help.

Building agency isn’t about denying pain or pretending everything is under your control. It’s about accepting what you can’t change and focusing on what you can. Daily rituals help reinforce this mindset. Reviewing your goals, journaling about your progress, and celebrating small wins keep your story moving forward. Each morning, remind yourself: you hold the pen. What will you write today? 2 3