7 Life-Changing Lessons from Alexandra Elle’s “How We Heal” You Need to Know

Healing is often romanticized as a destination, but Alexandra Elle’s 'How We Heal' reminds us that it is a sacred, ongoing journey. Her book, a blend of memoir, poetry, and practical exercises, provides a roadmap for anyone yearning to move from pain to peace. In this blog, we’ll explore seven of the most powerful lessons from Elle’s work, each one a stepping stone toward genuine self-acceptance.

1. Healing Is Not Linear

Elle’s journey teaches that setbacks are not failures, but invitations for deeper self-compassion. Rather than seeing healing as a straight line, she encourages us to embrace its cyclical nature. Each time we revisit old wounds, we bring new wisdom and resilience.

2. The Power of Self-Forgiveness

Central to Elle’s philosophy is the belief that self-forgiveness is foundational. By writing letters to our past selves, we process regret and cultivate compassion. This practice, supported by psychological research, helps release shame and creates space for growth. Elle’s gentle reminders—'I forgive you. I’ll love you through this.'—become mantras for liberation. 2

3. Journaling as Medicine

Journaling is more than a self-care trend; it’s a scientifically-backed tool for emotional recovery. Elle’s prompts invite readers to clarify emotions, document progress, and celebrate small wins. Studies have shown that expressive writing can reduce anxiety and improve mood, making it an essential practice for self-healing. 3

4. Embracing Compassion and Rest

Healing requires both effort and rest. Elle argues that emotional rest is as vital as action, allowing us to integrate lessons and build resilience. Compassionate self-talk, celebrating small victories, and taking breaks are all part of the process.

5. Naming and Honoring Your Needs

Elle teaches that naming your needs is a radical act of self-love. Many struggle to identify what they truly want or need due to cultural conditioning. By making lists, reflecting honestly, and setting boundaries, we learn to honor ourselves and build healthier relationships. 4

6. Manifestation: Intention Meets Action

Manifestation is not just about wishing for change, but taking practical steps to create it. Elle encourages readers to write down desires, create vision boards, and let go of what no longer serves them. This blend of intention and action is what makes new beginnings possible.

7. Gratitude and Joy Sustain the Journey

Practicing gratitude rewires the brain for happiness and resilience. Elle’s rituals—gratitude lists, daily celebrations—anchor us in the present. Joy, she reminds us, is available even in the midst of struggle, and celebrating small delights is essential for sustaining the healing journey. 1

Final Thoughts

Alexandra Elle’s 'How We Heal' is both a gentle guide and a powerful call to action. By integrating her lessons into daily life, readers can transform pain into purpose and create a foundation of self-love that endures. Whether you’re just beginning your healing journey or seeking new inspiration, these seven lessons offer a roadmap to a more compassionate, resilient, and joyful life.