Just Ask! How Bold Requests Unlock Doors You Didn’t Know Existed

It sounds simple, but it’s revolutionary: just ask. People want to help and say yes more often than you think, but they need to be invited. Many fail to ask clearly or frequently enough, leaving opportunities on the table.

Research shows strangers grant favors two to three times more than requesters predict. This gap between expectation and reality is a goldmine for influence.

One technique to increase yeses is to start with an outrageous request that is likely to be declined, followed by a smaller, reasonable ask. This leverages the reciprocity principle—when you concede, others feel compelled to reciprocate.

For example, asking someone to volunteer two hours a week for a year might be declined, but asking to chaperone a single trip often receives enthusiastic agreement.

Asking is not just transactional; it’s relational. It creates connection, empowers others, and fosters generosity. Overcoming fear of rejection and clarifying your desires are key steps in becoming a confident asker.

By mastering the art of asking, you unlock doors to opportunities, collaborations, and joy that you didn’t even know existed.