How to Turn Self-Sabotage into Self-Mastery: Lessons from Bella Zanesco’s Bestseller

Do you ever find yourself stuck in a loop of negative self-talk, procrastination, or relationship patterns that undermine your happiness? You’re not alone. Self-sabotage is a pervasive challenge, especially for high-achieving women who set high standards and feel the pressure to excel.

Bella Zanesco identifies five core self-sabotaging behaviors that many women unknowingly engage in. These include over-giving, perfectionism, avoidance, people-pleasing, and negative self-talk. Each behavior is rooted in early emotional wounds—the Source Wound—that shaped survival strategies but now limit growth.

The breakthrough comes from understanding these behaviors not as failures but as attempts to cope. By naming your limiting beliefs, such as 'I’m not enough' or 'I must be perfect to be loved,' you begin to strip them of power. Zanesco’s 'Colour-by-Numbers Belief Change' technique guides you through desiring change, neutralizing harmful thoughts, and taking small, consistent actions that prove new beliefs true.

For example, a woman who believes she must avoid conflict to be loved may practice expressing her needs in low-stakes situations, gradually building confidence. Over time, this rewiring leads to healthier relationships and greater self-respect.

Yoga and meditation complement this mental work by calming the nervous system and releasing emotional tension stored in the body. Scientific studies show these practices increase serotonin and reduce stress hormones, creating a fertile ground for mindset shifts.

Importantly, surrounding yourself with supportive friends and curating your environment reduces triggers of self-sabotage. Playful activities like dance or micro-adventures refresh your creativity and resilience.

By embracing imperfection and vulnerability, you awaken your inner Braveheart—the courageous self willing to take risks and grow. This transformation is not about perfection but progress, inviting you to step fully into your power.

If you’re ready to break free from self-defeating cycles and cultivate mastery over your mind and emotions, these lessons offer a roadmap to lasting change.

Sources: 1 , 2 , 4