Is It Really My Fault? Breaking the Cycle of Guilt in BPD Relationships

How 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' Helps You Let Go of Blame and Heal

If you love someone with Borderline Personality Disorder, you’ve probably asked yourself: 'What did I do wrong?' The emotional storms, the accusations, the sudden shifts from love to anger—it’s easy to assume you’re at fault. But the truth, as 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' makes clear, is that BPD is a mental health disorder, not a reflection of your worth or actions.

Guilt is a natural response to chaos, but it can trap you in a cycle of codependency and self-doubt. The book explains how BPD often leads to black-and-white thinking, where loved ones are either heroes or villains, with little room for nuance. This emotional whiplash is not your fault. Recognizing this is the first step in breaking free.

The cycle of guilt can be broken. Start by naming your feelings—anger, sadness, confusion, even relief. Each is valid. Seek support from those who understand, whether in therapy or online communities. Set boundaries, not as punishment, but as a declaration of your own worth. The path to healing is paved with self-forgiveness and the courage to prioritize your own needs.