Navigating Your Twenties in a Social Media World: Avoiding the Tyranny of the 'Should'

In today’s digital age, social media is woven into the fabric of young adult life. While it offers unprecedented connectivity, it also creates a distorted mirror reflecting only the best moments of others. This phenomenon fuels what Meg Jay calls the 'tyranny of the should' — the overwhelming pressure to live according to external ideals rather than your authentic self.

Most users spend more time viewing others’ curated lives than sharing their own real experiences. This social surveillance leads to upward social comparison, where you measure yourself against idealized images, often feeling inadequate. Studies show this can increase anxiety, depression, and decision paralysis.

Consider a young woman crushed by the expectation to travel extensively and achieve extraordinary success by her late twenties. Comparing herself unfavorably to influencers and peers, she felt stuck and anxious. When she shifted focus to her own values and goals — a steady career and close family ties — she found peace and fulfillment.

Resisting the tyranny of the should means tuning out societal noise and tuning into your own compass. This requires self-awareness, setting boundaries with social media, and practicing self-compassion.

Practical tips include limiting social media time, curating your feeds to positive influences, journaling your authentic goals, and seeking real-world connections. These steps help you reclaim your twenties as a time of genuine growth rather than comparison-fueled despair.

Ultimately, living authentically in a social media world is an act of courage and self-love. Your twenties are your story to write, not a script to follow.

Sources: Medium Review, Roaming Reina Summary, Caitlin E Shogren Review 1 2 4