Letting Go to Move Forward: The Surprising Power of Regret in 'The Earned Life'

How facing your past can unlock your future happiness and success.

Regret is one of those emotions we’re taught to avoid at all costs. It’s uncomfortable, often painful, and can feel like a dead weight dragging us backward. Yet, in 'The Earned Life,' Marshall Goldsmith invites us to see regret differently—not as a tormentor, but as a wise teacher. Regret, he argues, is a signal that our actions have strayed from our values, and it offers us the chance to course-correct.

Goldsmith draws on Buddhist mindfulness, reminding us that every breath is an opportunity to begin again. Letting go doesn’t mean erasing the past or pretending it didn’t happen. It means acknowledging our mistakes, learning from them, and releasing their hold on our present and future. Through stories of real people—leaders, professionals, and everyday individuals—Goldsmith illustrates how confronting regret with compassion can lead to profound healing and renewed motivation.

The book offers practical tools for letting go, including physical rituals like shaking off regret with a hand gesture, and reflective practices such as journaling or sharing with a trusted friend. These small acts, repeated daily, can help break the cycle of rumination and self-judgment. One of the most powerful lessons is that regret is universal; everyone has moments they wish they could redo. The difference lies in how we respond.

Goldsmith also explores the role of forgiveness—both of ourselves and others—in the process of letting go. By accepting our imperfections and making amends where possible, we free up energy to focus on the present and future. This is not just a feel-good idea; research shows that people who can process and release regret are more resilient, happier, and more successful.

Ultimately, 'The Earned Life' teaches that regret is not the enemy of happiness, but its unlikely ally. By facing our regrets with honesty and compassion, we transform them from burdens into stepping stones toward a more fulfilled life. Letting go is not a one-time act, but a daily practice—one that opens the door to new possibilities, greater peace, and lasting satisfaction.