The Three Plans That Can Change Your Child’s Behavior Forever (And Why Plan B Is a Game-Changer)

When a child exhibits challenging behavior, caregivers instinctively reach for solutions. But not all approaches are created equal. Understanding the three distinct plans for solving problems can revolutionize how we respond.

Plan A: Imposition is the traditional approach—setting limits unilaterally, issuing consequences, and expecting compliance. While it may seem straightforward, Plan A often backfires with children who struggle with lagging skills. Imposing demands beyond a child's capacity can ignite power struggles and escalate behavior.

Plan C: Setting Aside involves deliberately dropping low-priority problems to focus on what truly matters. This strategic choice reduces daily battles and conserves emotional energy. It is not giving in, but prioritizing peace and wellbeing.

Plan B: Collaboration is the heart of sustainable change. It is a respectful, empathetic process that involves three steps: first, understanding the child's concerns; second, sharing adult concerns; and third, inviting the child to brainstorm realistic, mutually satisfactory solutions. This process fosters cooperation, skill development, and trust.

Imagine a child who resists bedtime. Instead of insisting or punishing, a parent uses Plan B to ask,