6 Myths About Happiness That Are Secretly Making You Unhappy

Debunking Popular Beliefs That Keep You Stuck

We all want to be happy, but what if the very beliefs we hold about happiness are the reason we feel so dissatisfied? In 'The Happiness Trap,' Russ Harris reveals that most of us are caught in a web of cultural myths that set us up for disappointment. Here are six of the most damaging:

1. Happiness is the natural state for humans. Evolution equipped us to survive, not to be happy all the time. Our brains are wired to detect threats and solve problems, making negative emotions normal and necessary.
2. If you’re not happy, you’re broken. This myth leads to shame and isolation. In truth, everyone experiences sadness, anxiety, and self-doubt—even those who appear the happiest on the outside.
3. You must get rid of negative feelings to live well. The most meaningful experiences in life—love, achievement, growth—often bring discomfort as well as joy. Trying to avoid or eliminate pain only makes it stronger.
4. You should be able to control your thoughts and feelings. The mind generates thousands of thoughts daily, many of them random or negative. Suppressing them is not only impossible, it makes them more persistent.
5. More self-help equals more happiness. Despite the booming industry, rates of anxiety and depression are rising. The problem isn’t lack of effort, but the unrealistic standards set by these myths.
6. Happiness means feeling good all the time. True happiness is not constant pleasure, but the ability to live well with the full range of human emotions.

By exposing these myths, Harris empowers readers to let go of impossible standards and embrace a more compassionate, flexible approach to well-being. Practical exercises—like noticing thoughts without judgment, making space for feelings, and clarifying values—help break the cycle of struggle. Recent research in mindfulness and ACT confirms that accepting, rather than fighting, our inner world leads to greater resilience and satisfaction.

Letting go of these myths doesn’t mean giving up on happiness—it means finding a deeper, more sustainable kind of fulfillment. If you’re ready to break free from the happiness trap, start by questioning the beliefs that have been holding you back. The journey to well-being begins with a single, courageous step: telling yourself the truth.