From People-Pleaser to Boundary Boss: 7 Steps to Stop Giving a Fck (Without Losing Friends)

Are you the go-to person for favors, the one who can’t say no, or the friend who always puts others first? You might be a people-pleaser—and you’re not alone. But what if you could set boundaries, protect your time, and still keep the relationships that matter? Sarah Knight’s The Life-Changing Magic of Not Giving a Fck shows you how, and this blog breaks it down into seven actionable steps.

1. Recognize Your Limits: Start by taking stock of where your energy goes. Make a list of the requests, invitations, and obligations that drain you.
2. Define Your Priorities: Ask yourself: What truly matters? Knight recommends using the joy-versus-annoy filter. If it doesn’t spark joy, it’s a candidate for your 'not sorry' list.
3. Create Personal Policies: Want to avoid awkward debates? Set clear rules for yourself—like 'I don’t lend money to friends' or 'I don’t attend events on weeknights.' When you explain decisions as personal policies, people respect them more. 2
4. Practice Honest Communication: Use polite but firm language: 'Thank you, but I can’t commit to this right now.' Honesty builds trust and reduces resentment.
5. Handle Pushback Gracefully: Not everyone will love your new boundaries. That’s okay. Knight suggests focusing on others’ feelings, not their opinions. You can care about how someone feels without changing your decision.
6. Celebrate Your Wins: Every time you say no to something that drains you, celebrate the reclaimed time and energy. Over time, this builds confidence and self-respect.
7. Maintain and Adjust: Your boundaries will evolve. Regularly review your commitments and update your personal policies as your life changes. 4

The result? Healthier relationships, more time for what matters, and a deeper sense of self-worth. Setting boundaries doesn’t mean shutting people out—it means inviting them into a more authentic, sustainable connection with you. So go ahead: stop giving a fck about what doesn’t serve you, and watch your friendships thrive.