Why Most 'Rules' Are Made Up—And How Questioning Them Can Change Your Life

The surprising truth about the rules and labels that shape your life (and how to break free).

Have you ever wondered who decided what time you should wake up, how you should behave in a hospital, or what it means to be 'normal'? Ellen Langer’s research shows that most of the rules and labels we live by are not universal truths—they’re inventions, often arbitrary, created by people just like us. In her book 'Mindfulness,' Langer reveals how these boundaries can shape our health, limit our choices, and even affect our destiny.



Take hospital visiting hours: many believe these are based on patient well-being, but Langer found they are often set for staff convenience. Yet, social support is crucial for healing. Or consider the label 'prediabetic.' In one study, people with nearly identical blood sugar levels were given different labels. Those called 'prediabetic' were more likely to develop diabetes—not because of biology, but because the label changed their mindset and behavior.

Labels also drive bias. Langer’s work shows that simply encouraging people to notice differences within groups and similarities across groups can halve implicit bias and increase empathy. Rules and labels are powerful, but they are not destiny.

How can you break free? Start by questioning the rules you follow: Who made them? Why? What would happen if you did things differently? Notice when you use labels for yourself or others, and ask if they’re truly helpful. Mindful questioning is the first step to autonomy and growth.

Stories abound of people who rewrote their scripts—patients who challenged hospital routines, students who refused to be defined by grades, and individuals who found new identities by noticing what was possible rather than what was prescribed. The world is full of invisible boundaries, but you have the power to redraw them.

References: Langer, E. J. (1989). Mindfulness. 1 2 3