Why Your Childhood Matters: How Self-Reflection Can Make You a Better Parent

Every parent brings a lifetime of experiences to the table. Sometimes, the way we react to our children has less to do with them—and more to do with us. Laurie Hollman’s Parental Intelligence places self-reflection at the heart of compassionate parenting. By understanding our own emotional triggers, we can break free from generational patterns and respond to our children with clarity and love.

The Power of Looking Inward

When your child pushes your buttons, it’s often an echo of your own childhood. Maybe you were punished harshly for mistakes, and now you find yourself yelling when your child spills milk. Or perhaps you felt unheard, and now you struggle to listen to your child’s complaints. Parental Intelligence invites you to pause, reflect, and ask, 'Where is this feeling coming from?'

Breaking the Cycle

Self-reflection isn’t about blaming your parents or feeling guilty. It’s about understanding how your experiences shape your reactions—and choosing to do better. When you recognize your triggers, you can respond with empathy instead of reflex. This conscious shift creates a safer, more supportive environment for your child.

Real Stories, Real Change

In the book, parents who struggled with anger, anxiety, or perfectionism learned to pause and reflect before reacting. Over time, their relationships with their children grew more trusting and resilient. The journey isn’t easy, but the rewards are profound: children who feel safe to express themselves, and parents who feel empowered to guide without shame or fear.

Start Your Own Journey

• Keep a journal of your emotional reactions to your child.
• Talk to trusted friends, a therapist, or support group about your parenting experiences.
• Practice self-compassion—change takes time.

Conclusion

By healing your own wounds, you create space for your child to grow up free from the burdens of the past. Parental Intelligence shows that self-reflection isn’t just good for parents—it’s a gift for the next generation.