The Invisible Link: How Everyday Stress Becomes Trauma (And What You Can Do About It)

When most people hear the word ‘trauma,’ they think of dramatic events—car accidents, natural disasters, or violence. But as Elizabeth Stanley explains in Widen the Window, trauma is often much more subtle. It can be the slow drip of chronic stress, the exhaustion of never-ending deadlines, or the ache of feeling powerless in your own life. In fact, trauma and stress are not separate—they are points on a continuum, shaped by how much control and agency we feel in the face of adversity.

Stanley introduces the concept of allostatic load: the cumulative burden of chronic stress on our bodies and minds. When we don’t get enough time to recover, this load builds up, leading to a host of problems—insomnia, anxiety, memory lapses, even chronic disease. You don’t have to be a soldier or a disaster survivor to experience trauma. Anyone who feels stuck, helpless, or unsupported can develop symptoms that look and feel just like PTSD.

Why does this happen? When our stress response is triggered but we feel powerless to change our situation, our bodies and brains start to adapt in unhealthy ways. The survival brain takes over, shutting down the thinking brain, and we lose the ability to regulate emotions or make clear decisions. Over time, this can lead to a host of physical and mental health issues. Society often rewards those who push through—calling it grit or resilience—but ignores the hidden cost. High achievers are especially vulnerable, as they are often praised for ignoring their own needs.

But there is hope. Recognizing the continuum between stress and trauma allows us to have compassion for ourselves and others. It helps us see that suffering is universal, and that healing is possible. The first step is awareness: noticing when your stress feels unmanageable, when you start to lose sleep or joy, when you feel disconnected from others. The next step is to seek support—whether through friends, therapy, or community resources. Finally, building daily habits of recovery—like mindful breathing, movement, and rest—can help reduce allostatic load and restore balance.

Trauma is not a life sentence. With knowledge, support, and consistent practice, anyone can begin to heal. And as we’ll see in the next blog, the brain and body are remarkably capable of change—no matter how deep the grooves of stress may seem.

References: Widen the Window by Elizabeth Stanley; Lead Across Borders summary; Bookey app review 2 4