Making Habits, Breaking Habits: Why We Do Things, Why We Don’t, and How to Make Any Change Stick

When we begin our journey into understanding habits, it’s tempting to cling to simple rules—like the idea that repeating something for 21 days will make it a habit. However, this figure, while popular, is a simplification rooted in a very different context. It originated from a plastic surgeon’s observations that patients took about 21 days to adjust to changes in their bodies, like the loss of a limb or a new facial appearance. But human behaviors, especially habits, are far more complex and varied than such adjustments.

Recent studies have revealed that the average time it takes to form a habit is closer to 66 days, but this is just an average. Some simple habits, like drinking a glass of water after breakfast, can solidify in as little as 20 days, while more demanding habits, such as exercising regularly, may take well over 80 days. There’s even evidence that some habits might take up to 254 days to become truly automatic.

Habit formation follows a curved path: the earliest repetitions bring the most significant progress, but as time passes, each additional repetition contributes less to the habit's automaticity. This is like climbing a hill that starts steep and gradually levels off. Missing a day or two doesn’t necessarily break the habit, so perfection isn’t required, just persistence.

Another crucial factor is context. Habits are deeply intertwined with the situations in which they occur. The same behavior performed in different environments might not become a habit because the cues are missing or altered. For instance, moving to a new home or starting a new job disrupts your usual cues and routines, making habitual actions feel unfamiliar and requiring more conscious effort.

We often perform habits with little conscious awareness or emotional engagement; they become background actions that free our minds to wander elsewhere. This automaticity is both a blessing and a trap—it allows efficiency but can also make change difficult.

As we move forward, keep in mind that habits are not formed overnight but are the product of repeated actions within stable contexts, and that change requires patience and awareness of these dynamics. Let’s now explore why our intentions often struggle to control our habits.