Them: Why We Hate Each Other—and How to Heal

Imagine a city baking under a relentless sun, the air thick and still, the kind of heat that saps strength and hope. In 1995, such a heat wave swept through Chicago, killing over 700 people. But what made this tragedy even more chilling was that many victims died alone, unnoticed for days or weeks. It was not just the heat but the absence of connection that turned a natural disaster deadly. Neighborhoods that had strong social ties saw fewer deaths because residents checked on each other, forming a vital social infrastructure that saved lives. This stark contrast reveals a hidden epidemic: loneliness.

Loneliness is more than just feeling sad or isolated; it is a profound threat to our health and longevity. Scientific studies show that chronic loneliness increases the risk of premature death by about 25%, comparable to smoking a pack of cigarettes a day. Lonely individuals suffer from higher stress hormones, weaker immune systems, and greater vulnerability to heart disease and dementia. This epidemic is especially acute among men, who tend to lose social connections as they age, leaving many elderly men isolated and at risk.

Despite living in one of the most connected eras in history, with billions linked by social media and technology, many people have fewer intimate friends than decades ago. The average American now confides in fewer than two people about important matters, and a growing number have no one at all. This paradox of being hyperconnected yet deeply disconnected is a defining crisis of our time.

Understanding loneliness as a public health crisis changes how we view social issues. It is not simply a personal problem but a societal one that requires rebuilding community bonds and fostering real relationships. The decline of social capital—the networks of trust and reciprocity that bind us—has left many adrift, vulnerable to despair and early death.

As we reflect on this, let us remember that the antidote to loneliness is connection: knowing our neighbors, caring for others, and being cared for in return. This is the foundation upon which communities thrive and individuals find meaning and health.

With this understanding of the loneliness epidemic, we can now turn to how the changing nature of work further disrupts our social fabric, challenging our identities and communities in new ways.