This is Going to Hurt: Secret Diaries of a Junior Doctor

Imagine spending six years in medical school, absorbing every detail about the human body, diseases, and treatments, only to find out that the real test begins when you step onto the hospital ward. The theoretical knowledge, no matter how vast, is only the beginning. The real world of medicine is a relentless storm of emergencies, paperwork, and human suffering, especially during those long night shifts when the hospital relies on you alone. Armed with a bleep, a stethoscope, and a heart full of hope, you are suddenly the captain of a ship on fire, navigating through a sea of patients whose conditions can deteriorate in moments.

During the day, the job might seem manageable—following ward rounds, taking notes, ordering tests. But when night falls, the floodgates open. Nurses call with urgent concerns, patients deteriorate unexpectedly, and you are expected to make quick, life-saving decisions with limited experience and support. It’s a baptism by fire that no textbook can prepare you for. You learn fast, often under pressure, sometimes making mistakes but always striving to keep your patients alive.

One unforgettable example involves a patient who started bleeding profusely from his mouth in the middle of the night. The sheer horror of the situation—the blood spraying everywhere, the desperate scramble to control the bleeding—left an indelible mark on the doctor’s memory. These moments are raw, terrifying, and yet strangely exhilarating, as they define the very essence of being a doctor.

Yet, the system often fails to acknowledge the toll this takes. Long hours, minimal breaks, and the emotional weight of responsibility pile up, leading many junior doctors to question their path. Despite this, the calling remains strong—a desire to help, to heal, to make a difference. This tension between the ideal and the reality is the first great lesson in the journey of a doctor.

As we move forward, we will explore how these early experiences shape the choices and challenges that come next, including the decision to specialize and the emotional complexities that define a medical career.