Are You In the Box? 7 Signs You’re Sabotaging Your Team Without Realizing It

Spot the hidden habits that undermine trust, results, and workplace happiness

Every leader wants a high-performing team. But what if the biggest obstacle isn’t your team’s skills or motivation, but your own invisible habits? According to 'Leadership and Self-Deception,' most dysfunction starts with leaders and team members who are 'in the box'—trapped in self-justifying stories that distort reality and poison relationships. Here are seven signs you might be in the box, and what to do about it:

1. Chronic Blame: You find yourself thinking, 'If only others would change, everything would be better.' This mindset blinds you to your own role in problems.
2. Defensiveness: Feedback feels like a personal attack. You spend more energy defending your actions than listening to concerns.
3. Lack of Curiosity: You rarely ask questions or seek to understand others’ perspectives. You assume you already know the truth.
4. Withholding Help: You ignore small opportunities to assist colleagues, justifying it with busyness or resentment.
5. Victim Mentality: You see yourself as the only one working hard, while others are lazy or incompetent.
6. Transactional Relationships: You interact with people as means to an end, not as individuals with real needs.
7. Stagnant Results: Despite your efforts, your team’s trust, morale, or performance never seems to improve.

If you recognize these signs, don’t panic. The first step is awareness. Notice your justifications and ask, 'What am I missing about my own behavior?' The book suggests simple, daily practices: learn people’s names, ask about their experiences, and listen without planning your response. Over time, these habits break the cycle of self-deception and rebuild trust. As teams begin to see each other as people, not obstacles, collaboration and results soar. 1 3

Remember, leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being willing to see, admit, and change your patterns. Start today, and watch your team transform from the inside out.