Leadership and Self-Deception: Getting Out of the Box

Let me begin with a gentle invitation to pause and breathe, to listen with your whole heart as we enter the world of 'Leadership and Self-Deception.' Imagine yourself walking through the early morning mist, the world quiet and new. In this silence, you notice a box—transparent, almost invisible, yet undeniably there. This box is not made of wood or steel, but of thoughts, justifications, and unseen beliefs. It is the box of self-deception, a hidden chamber where so many of us live without ever realizing it.

The journey of this book starts with the story of a crawling infant. The child, eager to move forward, pushes herself backward, only to get stuck under the furniture. She cries, blaming the furniture for her predicament, never realizing that her own actions keep her trapped. We, too, often blame the world around us for our frustrations, not recognizing the invisible box we’ve built for ourselves.

Self-deception is not a rare affliction; it is a universal human experience. It shapes our relationships, our work, and our sense of self. Like a doctor in a bygone era, who spreads illness from patient to patient without understanding the cause, we carry unseen germs—our biases and justifications—infecting our teams, our families, and our organizations. The box distorts reality, making us see only what justifies our own perspective.

But how do we recognize this box? It is felt in the moments when we feel victimized, when we are certain others are the problem, when we cannot see that our own actions might be the source of our discomfort. The box is built from the stories we tell ourselves: 'They are lazy,' 'They don’t care,' 'I do everything right.' These stories are comforting, but they are also blinding.

The brilliance of the book lies in its storytelling. Through parables and analogies, it gently guides us to recognize the box in our own lives. The crawling infant, the frustrated leader, the doctor with invisible germs—all are mirrors reflecting our own patterns of blame and blindness. It is not about shame or guilt, but about awakening to a new way of seeing.

As we move forward, let’s hold this image of the box in our minds. Let’s be curious about the ways we might be boxed in, and how that shapes our relationships and results. The next step is to understand how we get into this box in the first place—a process as subtle as it is powerful. Let’s journey there together.