Polysecure for Everyone: Why This Book Matters Even If You’re Monogamous

Attachment Wisdom for Every Relationship—No Matter the Structure

At first glance, it might seem like Jessica Fern’s Polysecure is only for those exploring polyamory or open relationships. But dig deeper, and you’ll find that its insights are universal. The book’s core message is simple: secure attachment is for everyone. Whether you’re monogamous, polyamorous, or somewhere in between, Fern’s wisdom on healing, boundaries, and connection can transform your relationships.

The HEARTS model—Haven, Emotional attunement, Agreements, Reliability, Transparency, Secure attachment with self—is as relevant for couples as it is for polycules. Fern’s exercises help readers develop self-awareness, communicate openly, and repair after ruptures. Her stories, drawn from a wide range of relationship experiences, illustrate how secure attachment leads to greater joy, resilience, and intimacy.

Polysecure also challenges common myths about attachment and nonmonogamy, showing that secure love is possible in any structure. The book’s approach to boundaries and healing—through the nested model—encourages us to see relationships as living systems, always growing and changing. This perspective is invaluable for anyone seeking to deepen their connections, heal old wounds, or simply show up more fully in love.

If you’re looking for a relationship book that goes beyond quick fixes and offers real, actionable wisdom, Polysecure is for you. Its lessons will stay with you long after the last page.