The HEARTS Model Revealed: Six Steps to Secure Love in Any Relationship

How to Use the HEARTS Framework to Transform Your Connections

What if there was a step-by-step recipe for secure, resilient relationships? In Polysecure, Jessica Fern introduces the HEARTS model, a six-part framework designed to help people of all relationship styles build safety, trust, and joy. Each pillar of HEARTS is a practice, not a destination—inviting us to show up, day after day, with intention and care.

Let’s break down each step:

• Haven: Create a refuge for each other, especially during conflict or stress.
• Emotional Attunement: Tune into each other’s feelings, respond with empathy, and validate emotions.
• Agreements: Make clear, honest commitments—and revisit them as needed.
• Reliability: Show up consistently, so trust can grow over time.
• Transparency: Share openly and honestly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Secure Attachment with Self: Nurture your own inner world, practicing self-care and self-soothing.

Each pillar supports the next. For example, agreements without reliability fall flat, and emotional attunement is impossible without self-awareness. Fern offers exercises and prompts for each step, encouraging readers to reflect, communicate, and repair when things go wrong. The HEARTS model isn’t just for romantic partners—it works for friends, families, and even professional relationships.

By practicing the HEARTS model, you’re not just building secure relationships—you’re creating a foundation for lifelong growth, healing, and joy. Start with one pillar, and watch your connections transform.