The Secret to Receiving Feedback Well: Emotional Agility in Action

Why do some people seem to handle criticism with grace, while others shut down or lash out? The answer, say Stone and Heen, is emotional agility—the ability to ride out the emotional waves of feedback without losing your balance. When you receive tough feedback, your first reaction is often defensive. That’s normal. The trick is to pause, notice your feelings, and name them: 'I’m feeling embarrassed,' or 'That stings.' This act of self-awareness helps you stay open and curious.

The blog shares stories of leaders and employees who learned to manage their triggers, ride out the 'J Curve' of emotional discomfort, and use feedback as fuel for growth. Strategies include taking a break before responding, asking clarifying questions, and focusing on learning rather than proving yourself right. The article also covers the neuroscience of feedback and the benefits of emotional regulation.



By practicing emotional agility, you can turn even the hardest feedback into an opportunity to deepen relationships, build resilience, and accelerate your growth. References: 'Thanks for the Feedback,' Readingraphics, and expert advice from SoBrief 1 3