Why Most People Fail at Negotiation — And How Herb Cohen’s Book Can Save You

Negotiation failure often stems not from lack of knowledge but from misunderstanding human psychology. Herb Cohen’s You Can Negotiate Anything reveals that the secret to successful negotiation lies in perception and emotional intelligence.

One key insight is that power is perception. If you believe you have power, others will respond accordingly. Many people unknowingly disempower themselves by doubting their influence.

Opposition in negotiation is either intellectual or emotional. Intellectual opponents challenge ideas logically, while emotional opponents resist based on feelings or biases. Treating emotional opposition as a logical problem leads to frustration. Instead, building identification through empathy and shared values can break down barriers.

Appeals to morality and fairness often sway decisions more than facts. For example, a plea for fairness in a dispute can soften resistance and open dialogue.

Another pitfall is rushing due to perceived deadlines. Cohen teaches that most deadlines are flexible and can be negotiated to relieve pressure and avoid poor concessions.

Flexibility in negotiation style — shifting between competitive and collaborative approaches — is essential. Rigid tactics often fail against diverse personalities and situations.

Understanding these psychological dimensions equips you to navigate complex negotiations with greater success.

For further reading, consult expert summaries and real-world examples from Amazon and Reddit discussions 1 , 4 .