You Can Negotiate Anything

Imagine waking up every day knowing that every interaction you have is a negotiation. Not just the obvious ones, like buying a car or asking for a raise, but the subtle, everyday moments: convincing your child to eat dinner, deciding with your spouse which movie to watch, or even navigating office politics. Negotiation is not a rare skill but a universal language spoken by everyone, whether they realize it or not. This realization is liberating because it means you already negotiate — you just might not be aware of it or fully in control.

Consider a family shopping for a refrigerator. The price tag reads $489.95, but your budget is $450. Most would assume the price is fixed, especially in a 'one-price store.' Yet, this assumption is a self-fulfilling prophecy. If you believe you can't negotiate, you won't try, and the price remains firm. But what if you see yourself not just as a buyer but as someone selling money? Money is the product up for sale, and the more competition you generate for your money, the more value it holds. By mentioning rival stores or alternative models, you create competition, making the seller eager to close the deal on your terms.

Power, in negotiation, is often misunderstood as brute force or domination. In truth, power is neutral — it's simply the capacity to get things done. More importantly, power is perception-based; if you believe you have power, you project it, and others respond accordingly. Like the prisoner who negotiates for a cigarette by cleverly leveraging the guard's fear of administrative hassle, you too can harness power by understanding perceptions and options.

There’s also a curious phenomenon called malicious obedience, where people comply with orders so literally that it exposes flaws or forces reconsideration. This subtle form of negotiation is a reminder that influence can be exercised in unexpected ways.

As you begin to see negotiation as a natural, omnipresent process driven by perception and power, you open the door to mastering it. This understanding lays the foundation for exploring the three crucial variables that govern every negotiation: power, time, and information. Mastering these will transform your ability to influence outcomes and meet your needs effectively.

Let’s now delve deeper into these variables and discover how they shape every negotiation you encounter.