How to Know a Person

In the quiet moments of life, there lies a profound human hunger: to be truly seen. To see another person deeply is to honor their existence in a way that words often fail to capture. Imagine a world where each glance carries warmth, curiosity, and respect — a world where people are illuminated rather than diminished. This illumination is not mere observation; it is a moral act, a creative force that brings forth the best in others and nurtures their growth. It is the difference between seeing a person as a puzzle to be solved or a mystery to be cherished.

Consider the story of a ninety-three-year-old woman whose stern exterior melted away when greeted by a friend with joyful affection. That friend’s warm gaze called forth a version of her that was joyous and alive, revealing how powerful attention can be. Each of us carries within a spark of infinite dignity, a soul that longs to be recognized and valued. Yet, in our fast-paced, distracted world, this simple act is often neglected. Studies reveal a social crisis: loneliness is rampant, with over a third of adults feeling isolated frequently. Social media, ironically, offers illusionary contact but often replaces intimacy with stimulation, leaving many unseen and unheard.

We all carry the tendency to be 'Diminishers'—to judge, stereotype, or simply overlook others. But what if we could become 'Illuminators,' trained in the art of seeing with tenderness and generosity? This shift begins with awareness of our own biases and a commitment to suspend judgment. It means approaching each person as unique, complex, and worthy of our full attention.

Imagine the impact on marriages, friendships, workplaces, and communities if we practiced this art daily. The quality of our lives is deeply tied to how well we treat each other in the smallest moments. As we embark on this journey together, remember: the ability to see and be seen is the foundation of all meaningful human connection. Let’s move forward to explore how to accompany others gently through their struggles, deepening our presence and empathy.