Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve

Imagine walking into a room where your presence commands respect and admiration, where people not only recognize your competence but also value your warmth and contributions. This is the essence of status—an invisible currency that precedes and underpins power. For women, the journey to such status is often fraught with challenges that go beyond simply acquiring authority or resources. It is a struggle against deeply embedded perceptions and biases that shape how others view their value.

Consider the difference between power and status. Power is tangible—it is the control over budgets, decision-making, and resources. Status, however, is intangible; it is how much others respect and admire you. Power is almost always granted because of status. Without respect, titles and authority rings hollow. This explains why women, despite holding degrees and qualifications often surpassing their male counterparts, continue to face barriers in pay, promotion, and influence.

Take the striking example of the gender pay gap: At the current rate of progress, it will take 169 more years to close globally. This is not due to lack of education or effort but often because women’s status is underestimated and undervalued. When women negotiate for raises or promotions, their requests are frequently discounted not because they lack skill, but because the decision-makers do not fully respect or value their contributions.

Even in prestigious settings, such as the United States Supreme Court, women are interrupted more often than men, a subtle yet powerful signal that diminishes their status. This phenomenon, known as 'hepeating,' where a woman’s idea is ignored only to be repeated and praised when voiced by a man, further illustrates the systemic nature of status challenges.

Understanding this invisible game is the first step toward mastering it. We must shift our focus from power alone to status, because status is the gateway to power. When we recognize that status is malleable and influenced by how we present ourselves and how others perceive us, we open the door to change.

As we move forward, we will explore how women can project themselves as both Assertive and Warm, becoming likeable badasses who command respect and admiration. This balance is the secret to unlocking status and, ultimately, power.

Let us now delve into the science behind this balance and how it shapes our reputations and opportunities.