
Melissa Urban
A practical guide to setting and maintaining healthy boundaries for improved mental health, relationships, and self-empowerment.
Melissa Urban is also the co-founder of the Whole30 program, which has helped millions improve their eating habits.
Section 1
10 Sections
Imagine standing peacefully in a wide open field, a glowing circle gently encircling you, marking a sacred space where only what feels safe, healthy, and good is allowed in. This is the essence of boundaries — personal limits that protect your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
One subtle but powerful way boundaries manifest is through what is called 'energy leakage.' You may notice after certain conversations or visits that you feel drained, anxious, or overwhelmed. This means your energy is flowing out without replenishment, a clear sign that your boundaries are being overrun or missing altogether.
Boundaries are about your behavior, not about trying to control others. You cannot stop someone from thinking or speaking, but you can choose how you receive their words and what you allow in your space. For example, you cannot tell someone not to smoke, but you can say, 'I don’t allow smoking inside my house.' This shifts the focus to your limits and what you will do to protect yourself.
So often, we swallow our needs to avoid conflict or because we believe others’ feelings are more important. But this leads to resentment, anxiety, and a shrinking of your life.
Let’s carry this understanding forward as we explore how to recognize exactly when a boundary is needed and how to set it with clarity and kindness.
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