The How of Happiness: A Scientific Approach to Getting the Life You Want

Imagine a theater filled with a hundred people, each carrying their own level of happiness — some glowing with joy, others burdened by sorrow. Half of the differences in their happiness come from a genetic set point, something they are born with, much like their eye color or height. This set point acts as a baseline, a natural level to which people tend to return after life's ups and downs. But genetics is only part of the story. Only about 10% of the variation in happiness is explained by life circumstances — the house they live in, their job, or even their wealth. This is a surprising revelation because many of us believe that if only we had a better job, a more loving partner, or more money, happiness would follow. Yet studies, including those examining lottery winners, show that these changes only provide a fleeting lift before people adapt and return to their baseline.

So, where does the remaining 40% lie? This is the realm of intentional activity — the choices we make every day in how we think, behave, and engage with the world. Whether it’s practicing gratitude, nurturing relationships, or setting meaningful goals, this portion of happiness is within our control. It’s the 40 percent solution, a powerful insight that shifts the narrative from helplessness to empowerment. You are not a passive passenger on the happiness train but the conductor steering the journey.

Consider two people who both experienced significant life events — one a rock star who lost fame and fortune, the other a mother who underwent a dramatic physical transformation. Despite their vastly different circumstances, their happiness levels remained surprisingly similar over time, underscoring that external changes alone do not guarantee lasting joy.

This understanding invites us to rethink our pursuit of happiness. Instead of chasing after external markers, we can focus on cultivating internal habits and attitudes that sustain well-being. Happiness is less about what happens to us and more about how we respond and what we choose to do.

As we embark on this journey, keep in mind the three myths that often mislead us: that happiness must be found somewhere out there, that changing circumstances will solve our unhappiness, and that happiness is something we either possess or lack inherently. Each of these beliefs limits us, but recognizing them frees us to take meaningful action.

Let us now move toward understanding how to find happiness activities that truly fit our unique selves, so that the 40 percent of happiness we can influence becomes a source of lasting joy and fulfillment.