The Languages of Leadership: How to use your words, actions and behaviours to influence your team, peers and boss

Let’s begin our journey with a gentle awakening—the kind of morning where sunlight softly enters the room and you pause, just for a moment, to notice yourself. In the world of leadership, this moment of self-awareness is where everything starts. Before you can influence others, you must first understand yourself. The book opens with stories of leaders overwhelmed by chaos: deadlines, difficult colleagues, and the sense that control is slipping away. Yet, the real shift comes not from changing others, but from turning inward. Through daily reflection, even just fifteen minutes, leaders have been shown to boost their performance by over 20%. Imagine the compounding effect of such a habit—each day, a little more insight, a little more growth.

This practice is not just about listing what went wrong; it’s about understanding why you reacted the way you did, and what you could do differently. It’s about recognizing the Fundamental Attribution Error—that tendency to blame someone’s character rather than their situation. Perhaps a colleague missed a deadline, and your first thought is that they’re careless. But what if they’re overwhelmed, undertrained, or facing unseen challenges? This gentle shift in perspective transforms frustration into empathy, and empathy into better leadership.

Another cornerstone is the Circle of Influence. Too often, we invest our energy in worries we can’t control—the economy, office politics, the decisions of upper management. But as you focus on what you can change—your words, your actions, your attitude—you’ll find your influence quietly expands. It’s a liberating realization: you can’t control others, but you can always control yourself.

Consider the leader who, instead of micromanaging, takes time to reflect on their own habits. They notice that when they’re anxious, they become more controlling. By acknowledging this, they can consciously choose to trust their team more, leading to a more positive environment. This is the power of self-awareness in action.

As you settle into this new way of seeing, remember: reflection isn’t always comfortable. Sometimes, you’ll see things you wish you hadn’t. But every insight is a step toward becoming the leader you want to be. Regular reflection is the foundation for continuous improvement, both for you and those you lead.

Let’s hold onto this gentle clarity as we move forward. Next, we’ll explore how this inner awareness prepares you to master the languages of leadership—beginning with the courage to act, even when fear is present.