Triggers: Creating Behavior That Lasts--Becoming the Person You Want to Be

Imagine waking up every morning with a clear vision of who you want to be—the ideal self you aspire to. You plan your day, set your goals, and promise yourself that today will be different. Yet, by evening, you find yourself falling back into old habits, frustrated and wondering why change seems so elusive. This is the paradox of human behavior: meaningful behavioral change is incredibly difficult to achieve and sustain. The struggle is universal, cutting across professions, ages, and cultures. It’s not simply a matter of lacking motivation or knowledge. Instead, it’s a complex dance between our internal selves and the environment that surrounds us.

At the core of this struggle lies a duality inside each of us: the planner and the doer. The planner wakes up full of resolve, armed with intention and a strategy for change. The doer, however, is the part of us that must execute these plans amidst distractions, temptations, and unexpected challenges. Often, the doer feels overwhelmed or unwilling, leading to a disconnect that undermines our best intentions. This internal conflict is why so many of us have tried to quit smoking, lose weight, or improve relationships only to relapse time and again. For example, consider smokers: while many express a desire to quit, two-thirds never even attempt it, and among those who do, nine out of ten fail initially. This sobering statistic underscores the magnitude of the challenge.

One of the biggest culprits behind this difficulty is our overestimation of willpower. We tend to believe we have more self-control than we actually do, not accounting for how the environment chips away at our resolve. The smell of freshly baked cookies, a stressful work email, or a late-night TV show can all serve as triggers that weaken our discipline. Without recognizing these forces, we are set up for repeated failure.

Understanding this dynamic is the first step toward change. It invites us to be compassionate with ourselves, acknowledging that failure is not a moral defect but a natural consequence of battling powerful internal and external forces. It also points to the necessity of strategies that bridge the gap between our planner and doer selves, helping us to align intention with action.

As we journey through this audiobook, we will uncover the nature of these triggers, learn how to harness them, and discover practical tools to create lasting change. The path ahead is challenging but illuminated with hope: with awareness and effort, we can become the person we truly want to be.

Now that we appreciate the magnitude of the challenge, let’s delve deeper into the hidden beliefs that quietly sabotage our efforts before we even begin.