Crying in H Mart: A Memoir

Grief is a journey without a map, a path that often leads us back to the places and senses that hold the essence of those we have lost. In this story, the supermarket becomes more than a place to buy groceries; it transforms into a sanctuary where memory and culture intertwine. Imagine walking through aisles filled with familiar packaging, the scent of fermented kimchi, the sight of dumpling skins, and the sound of bustling shoppers. Here, grief finds a voice through the language of food. Each item on the shelf is a chapter of a shared history, a silent conversation between past and present. The act of choosing a familiar snack or folding rice cakes into a meal becomes a ritual of remembrance, a way to keep a loved one’s spirit alive. This connection is not merely nostalgic but deeply healing, allowing the mourner to find fragments of home in a foreign land.

Food, in this narrative, is love made tangible. It transcends words and gestures, becoming a medium through which affection is both given and received. The author’s mother, though sometimes stern, expressed her love through meals prepared just so, through snacks shared after school, and through the unspoken care embedded in recipes passed down. Even when language fails, food speaks fluently the dialect of the heart. This relationship between food and emotion illustrates how cultural heritage can anchor identity, especially in moments of loss and longing.

Yet grief is not linear; it crashes in waves. Sometimes it is triggered by the smallest things—a child running with a familiar snack, an elderly woman eating seafood noodles, the texture of seaweed. These moments reveal the vulnerability of memory and the universality of loss. Grief is public and private, raw and quiet, a reminder that love endures beyond absence. As the story unfolds, it invites us to consider how we too carry our histories in the foods we cherish and the places we revisit.

As we move forward, we will explore how this cultural identity is shaped not only by food but by the complex interplay of family, heritage, and the challenges of belonging between worlds.