
Natalie Lue
A compassionate, practical guide to breaking free from emotionally unavailable relationships and reclaiming your self-worth.
Natalie Lue began her journey by sharing her personal relationship struggles on her blog, Baggage Reclaim, which grew into a global community.
Section 1
7 Sections
Let me take you on a gentle walk through the garden of our hearts, where the roots of our choices often lie hidden beneath the surface. In this first chapter of our journey, we explore the mysterious landscape of emotional unavailability—a terrain both familiar and perplexing to so many of us.
Imagine a person who, after a difficult breakup, withdraws from intimacy for a while. This is temporary unavailability—a natural defense, a pause to gather strength. But if that pause becomes a way of life, if every new connection is met with suspicion or avoidance, it transforms into a habit.
Why do we find ourselves drawn to these emotionally distant souls? The answer lies in the comfort of the familiar. We may not realize it, but we are often seeking to resolve old wounds by recreating the dynamics we knew as children. If love was unpredictable, we seek partners who blow hot and cold, hoping that this time, if we try hard enough, we’ll finally be chosen, seen, and loved.
Consider the story of a woman who feels electrified by the chase, her heart racing when he pulls away and soaring when he returns. She confuses the anxiety of uncertainty with the thrill of passion, not realizing that her nervous system is responding to old patterns, not new love.
Emotionally unavailable partners often show their cards early: they avoid deep conversations, keep things on their terms, and may even make grand promises about the future only to retreat when it’s time to deliver. These behaviors are not unique; they are part of a script written by fear, insecurity, and the need for control.
As we close this section, reflect on your own journey. Have you noticed these patterns in your relationships? Are you seeking to be the exception, hoping to heal someone else’s wounds so you can finally feel worthy? Remember, awareness is the beginning of healing. In the next section, we’ll look more closely at the Fallback Girl—the woman who waits, hopes, and gives, often at the expense of her own joy. Let’s continue this journey together, with compassion and curiosity for ourselves.
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