Seculosity: How Career, Parenting, Technology, Food, Politics, and Romance Became Our New Religion—and What to Do about It

In our fast-paced world, the word 'busy' is often the default answer to the simple question, 'How are you?' It’s become more than a description of a packed schedule — it’s a badge of honor, a public display of value. To be busy is to be valuable, desired, justified. This cultural phenomenon is not a coincidence but a deeply rooted shift where busyness itself has become a form of modern religion, a new altar where we worship our own worth through relentless activity.

Imagine a cartoon villain, hair flying wildly, gripping the steering wheel with bloodshot eyes, racing through the day trying to excel at work, maintain friendships, stay healthy, and keep sane. This image perfectly captures the frenzy many experience daily, juggling multiple demands with a white-knuckle grip. This frantic pace is not limited to a few overachievers; it spans demographics, ages, and professions, reflecting a collective cultural anxiety.

But why has busyness become so central to our identity? The answer lies in what is called performancism — the assumption that there is no difference between what we do and who we are. Your resume isn’t part of your identity; it is your identity. Every task completed, every achievement unlocked, becomes a rung on the ladder of enoughness. The pressure to perform doesn’t just push us to work harder; it binds our self-worth to the scoreboard of life, creating a relentless cycle of anxiety and exhaustion.

Consider the story of a competitive video gamer who was once a legend in his community, revered for his high scores and flawless play. His identity was inseparable from his performance. When a challenger emerged, the ensuing drama revealed how fragile such a foundation is — victory brought fear and paranoia, not peace. Winning in performancism can be as perilous as losing. This dynamic plays out in far more serious arenas: the workplace, schools, even our social lives.

Social media feeds this frenzy by providing a constant stream of curated successes from peers, amplifying feelings of inadequacy. The more we scroll, the more we compare, and the more we feel we fall short. This phenomenon, sometimes called 'Penn Face,' describes the pressure to appear effortlessly perfect even when struggling internally. The longer we stay on social media, the sadder we feel.

Yet amidst this chaos, moments of grace and compassion pierce the noise. Stories emerge of people who find rest not in doing more but in accepting less, who learn to wear their exhaustion not as a trophy but as a signal to slow down. These glimpses remind us that the altar of busyness is not the only one available to us.

As we move from the whirlwind of busyness, we begin to see that our pursuit of enoughness through activity is only part of a larger pattern — one that extends into our relationships, our parenting, our technology, and beyond. Let us now turn to the realm of romance, where the pressures of performancism take on a deeply personal and often heart-wrenching form.