The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever

Imagine a bustling office where managers juggle endless tasks, emails pinging relentlessly, and meetings stacking up like a tower teetering on the edge. In this whirlwind, coaching might feel like a luxury—time-consuming and impractical. Yet, what if I told you that coaching doesn't have to be a grand, drawn-out event? You can coach someone in ten minutes or less. This is not just an optimistic claim; it's a necessity in today’s fast-paced world.

Many managers have dipped their toes into coaching waters, often through training sessions promising to turn them into effective coaches. However, research reveals a surprising truth: while 73% of managers have had some coaching training, fewer than one in four people being coached felt it made a significant difference. This gap between training and impact is the coaching paradox. Why does this happen? Because coaching often remains theoretical, disconnected from the realities of a manager’s daily grind.

One reason is the 'Advice Monster' lurking inside every well-meaning manager. This monster urges you to leap in with answers, solutions, and directions—the very behaviors that coaching seeks to transform. Giving advice feels productive and keeps you in control, but it fosters overdependence, turning your team into perpetual seekers of your guidance. You become the bottleneck, overwhelmed and exhausted, while your team’s autonomy shrinks.

Coaching, at its heart, is about curiosity—asking questions that unlock potential rather than giving answers that limit growth. Developing a coaching habit means shifting from telling to asking, from solving to empowering. This habit breaks three vicious circles: overdependence, overwhelm, and disconnection.

Overdependence traps you in constant problem-solving for others. Overwhelm drowns you in tasks and distractions, eroding your focus. Disconnection leaves you and your team disengaged from meaningful work, churning through busy work that drains energy and motivation.

Building a coaching habit is your path out of these cycles. It’s about weaving short, powerful questions into daily conversations, creating a culture where people feel trusted, autonomous, and capable. It's coaching as a daily, informal act, not a rare, formal event.

As we embark on this journey, we’ll explore how to build habits that stick, the seven essential questions that unlock coaching’s power, and practical techniques to master the art of asking. Together, these insights will help you transform your leadership and work less hard while having more impact.

Let’s move forward to understand the science behind building habits that last and how you can apply it to coaching.